Letters to Ramón the Mink of Love
Having trouble with the Love? Lost the Passion in your life? I am Ramón the Mink of Love, and my minkly wisdom has helped hundreds! Click here to be writing to me now!
Dear Ramón,
My orgasms seem too short. is there a way to make them last longer?
Love,
"Quickly in Queens"
Dearest Quickly,
Fortunately the Medical Science, it is giving us the answer. You must be
slowing down the metabolism, so that the body is doing everything more slowly.
Next time you are Making Love, be filling up the bath tub with the ice cubes
and Sharing your Passions in there. You will be finding that every Touch,
every Carress, and every little Nibble and every Climax will be seeming to be
taking twice as long!
Frigidly,
Ramón the Mink of Love
Dear Ramón,
I bought a sexy little black dress to wear especially for my boyfriend,
but the pig barely even noticed! How can I make sure that he sees what
I do for him?
Love,
"Angry in Aukland"
Dearest Angry,
Ah, that classic conundrum! Why is it that the men and the women,
they are thinking so differently? Whereas she is making the Special Effort
to be Desirable to him, he is barely noticing. But perhaps you could be
looking at it from his point of view. The little black dress, it is nothing
but the obstacle, getting in the way of the true Glories within! Seen that
way, how could he be appreciating it? If it weren't there, you would already
be Nude!
Next time, you should try to wearing the plastic wrap instead.
Transparently,
Ramón the Mink of Love
Dear Ramón,
An ettiqutte question: say you're at a wedding, and the groom's mother is totally
hitting on you. Is it okay to do her?
Love,
"Mannered in Maine"
Dearest Mannered,
Yes, but only if you are Making Love to his father too—he might be getting jealous.
And do not be forgetting about the parents of the bride as well.
Virtuously,
Ramón the Mink of Love
Dear Ramón,
I got totally hammered last night and took this cute guy home. But in the morning
it turned out that he wasn't nearly as cute as I remembered. So I know in the future:
what's the best way to get rid of him quickly?
Love,
"Tipsy in Tacoma"
Dearest Tipsy,
If you were so Intoxicated that you were not remembering what he is looking like,
there is the good chance that so was he. Before he is waking, you can be quickly
dumping him in the roommate or neighbor's bed, and then she will be stuck with
him instead!
Duplicitously,
Ramón the Mink of Love