Letters to Ramón the Mink of Love
Having trouble with the Love? Lost the Passion in your life? I am Ramón the Mink of Love, and my minkly wisdom has been helping hundreds! Click here to be writing to me now!
Dear Ramón,
I'm 26, and I'm finally in my first relationship with a really great guy. We've been taking things really slowly, but he doesn't know I'm a virgin. I'm scared to tell him because I don't know how he might react. What should I do?
Love,
"Too Pure in Pennsylvania"
Dearest Too Pure,
Why are you needing to be telling him this at all? As they are saying, the chaste is making the waste! However, if you are finding yourself nervous about being less than stellar when you are finally Giving yourself to him, maybe it will help to be having some Practice first. Go out every night next week and bring back home the different man. Then, when you are Ready for your boyfriend, you
should be knowing the Moves which will be truly Amazing him.,
Ramón the Mink of Love
Dear Ramón,
When I'm in bed with my man, I really like to take control. I like to tie him up, be on top, cuff him and humiliate him. But now I'm worried that he might find it emasculating. What do you think?
Love,
"Top in Toronto"
Dearest Top,
Next time you are meeting him, wear the frilly pink dress and the flowers in the hair. Act all demure and innocent, and pretend that you are not understanding the Ways of Love and saving your body for the husband. I guarantee you, he will be forcing the whip back into your hand himself.
Crazedly,
Ramón the Mink of Love
Dear Ramón,
My boyfriend's always checking out my friends. I know he loves me, but it's beginning to make me a little nervous. What should I do?
Love,
"Concerned in Columbia"
Dearest Concerned,
Are you telling me that you are not checking out your friends too? Fix that at once! The only good friendship is the Lusty friendship!
Surgingly,
Ramón the Mink of Love
Dear Ramón,
About a month ago, I slept with my best female friend. We both agreed that it should never happen again, but now we both feel really awkward about it. Is there any way that we can go back to how we were?
Love,
"Regretful in Redding"
Dearest Regretful,
No, there is no way to be going back. But why would you be wanting to be doing this? Succumb to the Beast in your Blood! Tell her that you cannot be resisting her any more, and then Ravish her! And then Ravish her again! I, Ramón the Mink of Love, assure you that it shall all be better this way.
Ravenously,
Ramón the Mink of Love
