Letters to Ramón the Mink of Love
Having trouble with the Love? Lost the Passion in your life? I am Ramón the Mink of Love, and my minkly wisdom has been helping hundreds! Click here to be writing to me now!
Dear Ramón,
Last week I was in the hospital for a couple days. There were a couple of really hot nurses that I tried to get into bed, but they weren't going for it. Just in case I ever have to go back--what's the best way to make it with them?
Love,
"Purplexed Patient"
Dearest Patient,
Most nurses have found their line of work because they are enjoying taking care of the weak and the helpless. Because of this, almost all nurses everywhere are enjoying the games of bondage. All you are needing is the handcuffs and the black leather, and the whole hospital staff will be lining up to be giving you the sponge baths.
Dominatingly,
Ramón the Mink of Love
Dear Ramón,
There are these two really hot boys at school, and they both want me! I'm so excited, but I can't decide which one to go out with! If I take them both, all my friends will think I'm a total slut!
Love,
"Deciding in Delaware"
Dearest Deciding,
Remember, usually when girls are calling other girls sluts, it is because of their low self esteem. Your friends, they are just jealous. So before moving in on these boys, I would suggest giving them some Love too.
Confidently,
Ramón the Mink of Love
Dear Ramón,
I was out on a dinner date with a gorgeous woman. Everything was going really well. We talked for hours, and we were both more than a little tipsy. I was really looking forward to getting back to her place, if you know what I mean. But she just said good night and since then she hasn't answered my calls. What did I do wrong?
Love,
"Spurned in South Carolina"
Dearest Spurned,
Perhaps it is because you were not bringing enough flowers and candy to the dinner. Remember, the woman is wanting to feel feminine and desired. Aside from the Act of Love, the best way to be showing this is with at least ten dozen roses, and a few pounds of the delectable chocolates. When you are giving these to your next date, she will be knowing how much you are Caring.
Gourmandizingly,
Ramón the Mink of Love
Dear Ramón,
I'm a single mom, and I don't have much time for dating or getting out to meet any men. So I was really surprised when I had a parent-teacher conference with my son's first grade teacher. He was gorgeous, smart, kind, and everything I want in a man. What's the best way to get him?
Love,
"Lonely in L.A."
Dearest Lonely,
The best way to be seducing the teacher is to be hiding among the students in the class. With so many kids, he'll never be noticing one more. Then be sure that you are doing something bad, so that you must be staying after school for the spanking. That is when you can be making your real identity known, and be jumping him.
Naughtily,
Ramón the Mink of Love
