Letters to Ramón the Mink of Love
Having trouble with the Love? Lost the Passion in your life? I am Ramón the Mink of Love, and my minkly wisdom has been helping hundreds! Click here to be writing to me now!
Dear Ramón,
I am a sergeant in the United States Army. The problem is that my major is so hot! I think about him every day, and would love to have just one night with him! Unfortunately he doesn't even know I exist, and on top of everything else is the Army's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. What should I do?
Love,
"Aroused in Annapolis"
Dearest Aroused,
Ah, the military love! When men put their lives into each other's hands, it is no wonder that so many long to put other parts of themselves in their comrades' hands. It is truly a pity that so many are repulsed by this most Manly of Passions. <P>Here is what I recommend to you. Paint your entire body in the camouflage, and sneak into his office before he comes in. Remove your clothes and lie back on the desk languorously, awaiting his entrance. Take your sidearm with you. When the major enters, be moving your tongue first up and down its barrel, and then all around the tip. Touch yourself as you do this and moan to be sure he gets the point. When he does, you will be getting his point soon enough. It is a rare military man who can be resisting such charm!
Rapturously,
Ramón the Mink of Love
Dear Ramón,
I've been happily married for three years. Just last week I finally consented to have lesbian sex with my best friend after she'd been pressuring me for months. The experience was new to both of us, and it was wonderful! Both of us peaked repeatedly, which never happens whenever I'm with a man! The problem is that now I really guilty, and like maybe I've cheated on my husband. Should I tell him, or should I keep this affair going?
Love,
"Closeted in Edinburgh"
Dearest Closeted,
Perhaps the answer is to be doing both. If the affair truly liberates you, you should stay with it. But if your husband is an understanding man, there is no reason that he should not be knowing as well. It may be that you will be tiring of this relationship soon and want to go back to your man. <P>Or, it may be that you shall decide to find more of your friends to be joining your activities. If one woman was able to awaken your body to such hunger, imagine what six would be able to do! When you come home at night to your husband, you will be able to show him all the techniques you have been learning. He should have no reason to object. And perhaps soon you can even let him and your friends' husbands join in the fun!
Ardently,
Ramón the Mink of Love
Dear Ramón,
My senior prom is just around the corner, and I really want to go! The only problem is that I can't find a dress. I'm much larger than most of my friends, and trendy dresses just aren't made for teens who wear a 40DD bra and size 19 pants. I can never find a dress that fits me right. What do I do?
Love,
"Dressless in Nebraska"
Dearest Dressless,
This situation, it is both a shame and a wonderful opportunity. It is obvious the beautiful women come in all sizes, and yet no one makes the proper clothing for them. <P>If you still cannot find a dress, here is what you should be doing. Simply go as you came into this world, without clothing. No dress can be comparing with the natural beauty of bare flesh. It is true that some people might frown upon this, and perhaps be trying to keep you from entering the door. Try wearing a long coat in, and then be sneaking off to the bathroom. When you come out, do so proudly and without cover. You will turn every eye in the place, and perhaps you shall even be crowned queen!
Cravingly,
Ramón the Mink of Love
