Letters to Ramón the Mink of Love

Having trouble with the Love? Lost the Passion in your life? I am Ramón the Mink of Love, and my minkly wisdom has helped hundreds! Click here to be writing to me now!


Dear Ramón,
I've been with my guy for more than two years, and we recently moved to a new town. I've made lots of new friends and want to go out, but he's a total homebody. If I drag him out, he's in a bad mood, and if I leave him behind I get a big guilt trip. How can I stop feeling like a prisoner but not ruin our relationship?

Love,
"Trapped in Toronto"

Dearest Trapped,
Why not be bringing the party back to your place? If you are hosting the orgy, everyone will be being happy! With all of your new friends, it is sure to be being a blast. (Just be sure to be stocking up on several liters of the lubricant.)

Accommodatingly,
Ramón the Mink of Love


Dear Ramón,
I think my boyfriend might be seeing someone else. I was going to install a camera or break into his e-mail, but I don't know how to do those things. What's the best way to find out for sure?

Love,
"Suspicious in Salem"

Dearest Suspicious,
The direct route, it is the easiest. Ask him if he is having the Lover on the side. If so, be sure to ask him if you can be joining in.

Trystingly,
Ramón the Mink of Love


Dear Ramón,
My girlfriend asked me how many women I've had sex with. Should I tell her or not?

Love,
"Counting in Cleveland"

Dearest Counting,
I, Ramón the Mink of Love, am always thinking it a good idea to be being Honest and Forthright. You should be giving her the daily updates as to with how many men and women you have been Sharing the Loins. Maybe you can be making it into the Friendly Competition. Whoever is Copulating with the most that day will be getting the Special Fantasy Prize from the other that night. What could be being more Glorious?

Tusslingly,
Ramón the Mink of Love


Dear Ramón,
I think my girlfriend wants to move in with me, but I still have a bunch of other ladies on the side, if you know what I mean. How can I keep her from moving in on my space?

Love,
"Independent in Iowa"

Dearest Independent,
Maybe it will be turning her off if you are living in the Pig Sty. Try leaving the prophylactic wrappers from your many Encounters scattered beneath the tables, on top of the ceiling fans, inside the refrigerator, etc. Add the lubricant stains to the walls and the ceilings. And make sure that every chair and bed is being Rocked and Splintered into the little tiny pieces. Soon, she will be rethinking the moving in with you.

Dirtily,
Ramón the Mink of Love