Cracking Carnal Collegiate Conundrums
Every September, millions of the young adults all over the world are
heading off to the University. Many of them are leaving home for the
first time, and are being filled with the doubts and the questions
about the what the next year will be like. How will you survive being
away from home? How can you be finding the Love and the Passion?
What kind of Lover will you turn out to be? Your humble mink will
attempt to be answering some of these questions for you.
“I'm going to miss my friends and family.”
Everybody is missing their friends and family when they are leaving
home for the first time. Remember that after-prom party with your
best friends that was turning into the Drunken Lovefest in the hotel?
Or that time when your dad was setting you up with one of his old army
buddies when your boyfriend walked out on you? No one is really
Supporting you like those with whom you were growing up. But you are
needing to grow up, to be Exposed to the new people and ideas. The
university, it is Filled with the new Friends to Make, the new
Bacchanal Bashes to explore. And when you are going back home at the
end of the end of the semester, think of all the new Positions and
Moves you will have to be showing the highschool Sweetheart!
“I hear the classes are all really hard.”
Sure, some of the classes are
being very difficult...but
probably not the ones that you will be taking. After all, who is
wanting to be studying the Quantum Physiologistics or the Planar
Topology? These subjects, they are being dry and uninteresting and
flat, and the people who are studying them are being dull and
lifeless. But what about the classes you will be taking? The
Psychology of Sex? The Human Anatomy? The Gay and Lesbian Studies
(so you can be Truly Studying those gays and lesbians)? Everyone is
knowing that these classes are being the easy As. All you are having
to do is to show up, and occasionally be Sharing Yourself with the
professor and the classmates, and you will be sailing right through!
“What if I don't get along with my roommate?”
It is being true that for the next year you will be living in the
close proximity to this one person who was chosen at random by a
computer. But the best way to be making friends is to be Making
Friends. When he or she is first coming into the room, you should be
waiting there Draped Languorously on the bed with the Open Legs. But
as the year goes on, you cannot be expecting to always be able to Love
your way out every little tiff that you and the roommate are having.
After all, you will be needing to having the Active Social Life with
the other people on the floor and around the campus. But the good
roommate is making sure that the the other one is always Taken Care
Of. Any time that you will be out, you should be leaving the new
Lover for the roommate in his or her bed. Even if the roommate is
claiming that he or she is not wanting this or is declining these
Luscious Gifts, you should keep doing it. After all, Deep in the
Heart, he or she is being glad to be thought of!
“What about the freshman fifteen?”
Yes, many of the new freshman are gaining many kilograms when they are
first entering school. They stress, they eat too much, and they are
never working out. But not falling into this trap, it is a simple
thing. Remember to be getting the Constant Exercise...of Love. Any
time that you are wasting with such pedestrian activities such as
eating or sleeping, it is time that you could be Sowing the Wet, Hot
Seeds of Passion. And when you are Spending the time Properly, you
will very soon be being as skinny as the rail!
“How will I afford paying so much money?”
There is being no doubt that the university is expensive. It may be
that you will need to be taking on the work study job in order to be
making the Ends Meet. Fortunately there are being many opportunities
that you can be taking on the university campus. For example, you can
be working in the office of admissions to be getting the Head Start on
the next year's Prospects Or you can be working in the health center,
distributing the health information in the Loving and Caring way. But
the favorite of I, Ramón the Mink of
, is to be working as the Nude Model for the art classes.
It is the perfect place to be asking the Nubile young men and women
out on the dates. After all, you are having the Truth in the
Advertising. But if all else is failing and you cannot be finding the
job on campus, you should be remembering that many, many smart and
successful young people have been working their way through university
as the Stripper or the Adult Film Star!
“How will I make new friends?”
This, it is being the simplest thing of all! Go to the fraternity
parties nightly and be drinking many liters of alcohol. You will be
finding that in only the short period of time, everyone is Becoming
more Friendly than you would have ever been imagining! The only
trick, it is to make them be remembering you the next morning. Find
some specialty that no one will be forgetting. Then they will all be
talking about “that guy who does that thing with the
tongue” or “that chick who is screaming out in ancient
Latin.” Soon, they will all be Lusting for your Friendship!
Finally, above all, do not be worrying. The years of the university
are the time of Fun, Passion, and Love. It is no surprise that so
many people are remembering them as the best years of the life! So
just be sitting back and relaxing, and you never know who will be
Falling into your Lap.♥