Majors of the Mink
I, Ramón the Mink of Love offer my most Scholarly greetings to you all! Now it is the time for the school to be resuming. I am knowing that many of my disciples are the students of the university. And so, this month, I am having a special feature just for them!
Are you confused by what major you should be taking? Well, wonder no more! Here are the different studies, broken down by Love!
The Art
In what other field are you allowed to—nay—required, to be
looking at the naked bodies all day? This is the field for the True Lover
with his Paints of Passion, Chisel of Carnality, and long, hard Pencil of
Lust. The only disadvantage is that they are expecting the nude models to
be staying still for hours at a time. How can you be Making Love to such
people? You must do so quickly and discreetly, while the others are
distracted by their works, moving In and Out like the lightning.
The Biology
The Biology is differing from most of the other sciences. Whereas there
are those biologists who are spending all day researching the duller
aspects of life under the microscope, there are many others who spend their
time Cavorting in the Wild. Nature has found so many ways for creatures to
be Making Love, from the hanging squirrels to the entwined snakes to the
Group Love of ants, it is providing ample Inspiration for the Lustful
biologist.
The Chemistry
Though it is a dry science, there exists an area of chemistry that may be
suited to a Passionate Lover such as yourself. If you can learn to be
artificially producing the pheromones, you may be able to chemically induce
the Lust in others. Picture letting these chemicals loose in a church or
an office building, and letting the Love commence!
The Engineering
It is true that most engineers are dull and inhuman, preferring their
machines to the Warm Caress of a Lover. But there are those who are
exceptions to this rule, who are using their knowledge of the gadgets to be
making the Contraptions of Love. If you can be finding these people, this
major will be Satisfying in every way.
The English
If ever there was a tool for finding the Love, it is the Poetry. With this
major you may be spending your days hanging around in the coffee shops
while wearing the poofy shirt, reading the Poems of Passion to the
beautiful young men and women you are meeting. If you are remembering to
be adopting the persona of the tortured young artist, the Lovers shall be
lining up for your Affections.
The Foreign Languages
No other major is allowing you to travel the world so much, to be Plowing
the Fields abroad with so many Wild Oats. Even if you are staying at home,
you may be using these skills to perfect the foreign accent. Give to
yourself the new name and persona, and stalk the bars asking the cute
patrons about the local customs in this country. Soon, many young men and
women will be Swooning and falling into your Passion.
The History
For the most part, the history is the study of the battles, politics, and
coups that are so antithetical to the Life of Love. However, a rare few
historians know that true history is not made by the sword, but by the
Love. Find these people, and learn to research the Lusts and Cravings of
ancient peoples. Perhaps you can be turning the tide, and teaching all the
Loving side of history.
The Mathematics
The mathematics are a dry and dull subject, and those who are studying it
are without exception the shriveled, shrunken people who have long since
smothered any Love that is existing in their Breasts. If you are wishing
the vast quantities of Passion, you must be avoiding this major.
The Physics
Alas, the physicists are as bad as the mathematicians. They are a dead
people who have divorced themselves from the Ways of Passion. Do not let
yourself be tempted to stop Loving by these hollow shells of humanity.
The Political Science
Like the historians, most political scientists are already dead to the Ways
of Lust. However, today’s political scientists are tomorrow’s politicians.
Perhaps you can be using this as a wedge to be working your way into
public office. Then, you may be bringing the Intimate Lusts upon which our
culture is based back into the public sphere, from which they have been
banished. This will be a long, hard struggle, but the Carnal rewards shall
be worth it.
The Psychology
The study of the mind, it can be the wondrous Exploration into the sources
and causes of the Love in the Human Psyche. Much of the psychology centers
around the Passionate Experiments, in which subjects may be volunteering to
come in and Submit to your Amorous Probes. Or you may spend your time
Uncovering the meanings of Dreams and Desires, struggling to be
Understanding the Human Heart more fully, making your Seductions that much
easier. Either way, this is a field for the Lover.
The Religious Studies
Too many people these days are using the religion for their own purposes,
to be preventing us from Enjoying the bodies with which we have been
blessed. Studying the holy texts is the perfect opportunity to be showing
these people to be the hypocrites they are, and to be understanding that
God is wanting us to Make Love to as many people as possible.
The Women’s Studies
In this field there are thousands of young women with the Passionate souls,
waiting to be awakened to the Fruits of their Womanhood by the proper
Lover. Go unto them with the confidence of the experienced Master of
Passion that you are, and they shall all be welcoming you with the open
legs.
May you be Learning and Loving much this year!♥
