All Hallow's Love
The All Hallow's Eve, it is nearly upon us! The Halloween is one of the favorite holidays of I, Ramón the Mink of Love. It is on this day that we are trying to scare each other out of our wits. With so many of the ghosts and goblins about, it is only natural that we are wanting to be Clinging to our many Lovers all the more tightly, and let the Soothing Passion be Washing over us all. But how will you be preparing for this momentous, Lustly evening? What scary props can be used to Set the Mood for the Love, and which will only be chasing away the Potential Paramour?You can be starting by decorating your place of residence. First we will be considering the traditional symbol of the Halloween, the Jack o'Lantern. Most people, they are just carving in the goofy face and thinking it is enough. Is it any wonder that so many of these pumpkins are smashed every October? No, you will be needing to be making your squash a little more Salacious. Start with making them a little bit more anatomically Defined. Nothing is saying Halloween to me, Ramón the Mink of Love, like the Engorged Vegetable ready to be Sharing his Manly Delights. If you are carving many of these Passionate Pumpkins, you can be putting them all over your front yard in the various positions. Late night revelers will be welcomed by this Botanical Bacchanalia, and won't be knowing what to expect further inside.
Of course, decorating the inside of your Den of Love is being important as well. Too many people, they are thinking that they can just be throwing up a cobweb here and there, and all is good. No—the Truly Titillating Trimmings are requiring the active participation. Tie the busty young woman to the giant wooden wheel in your entryway. Set up an altar for the ancient Ribald rites of the druids, surrounded by the Romantic Robed Reverends. (Remember, Halloween comes from old Celtic traditions, and no one knew Love like their ancient priests.) The more auditory the spectacle, the better. Let the moans and groans carry through the neighborhood.
Or perhaps you will be wanting to go out, to be trolling the street for Treats. Remember, although it is shocking, there are some people who are believing that the children should be protected from the more Adult Play that is happening this night. This is no matter—you simply need to be waiting until all the innocents are home and asleep in their beds. If you are starting about midnight, no one will be complaining. You should be picking your costume based on many factors, including the Sexiness, the Lustiness, the Spiciness, and the Ease of Removal. (You can be checking out the previous columns on the costume of I, Ramón the Mink of Love, here, here, and here.)
Be sure to find a large group of people to be accompanying. Some will be telling you that it is safer, but the real reason is that the Love is more fun with more people! Pick the house.it is not mattering if the porch light is on or what the time is, for Love is Transcending all bounds or property and propriety. Ring the doorbell, knock on the door, and pound on the windows incessantly until you are receiving an answer. Once the door is opened, you must be crying out the traditional greeting of “Trick or Love!” At this point it is custom for the answerer to Make Love to some or all of you. Failing that, he or she may give you some small Token of Love, such as the underwear or even the simple prophylactic. Be sure to be saying thank you, and proceed to the next house.
Of course, occasionally you will be running into the occasional house that is not appreciating your Amorous ways. And thus, you must also be prepared for the Trick. Too many people, they are getting lazy at this stage, resorting to such overused pranks like the egging or the toilet paper. No, you must be more creative than that. Throw the silken busty bras up into the trees. Spread the used prophylactics around the yard. Leave blow-up dolls scattered everywhere. Use chalk to be drawing on the walls, identifying the house as a Haven for Forbidden Delights. Remember, the purpose here is not to intimidate. It is to graphically illustrate to those who were spurning you the Carnal Wonders that they were missing.
I wish all of you a good Halloween. May you be finding much Scary Love this night!♥
