Traveling Trysts
Where has the time been going? It is seeming to be only yesterday that I, Ramón the Mink of Love, was Luxuriating on the beach and picking up the babes in bikinis. Now, suddenly it is the Winter, and all over people are covering up their bodies and thinking of spending the Holidays at home with the families. But that is no excuse to be forgetting Hot, Tender Embrace of the Old Lover or the Breathless Passion of the New! Travel homeward is always the opportunity to be Sparking the New Trysts, and Rekindling the Old Flames. Here, let me tell you some of my most Minkly secrets of the travel.
The Friendly Skies
Those who are regular readers of these most humble writings are already knowing my feelings about the prudish, uptight airport security personnel. Why, given the amount of times that they have been tackling and shackling this mink for his Lustful activities, their “War on Terror” might as well be ...their “War on Terror” might as well be the “War on Love!” the “War on Love!” However, fortunately for us all, I have at long last been finding the loophole to their hated four-ounces-of-liquid rule. Whenever I am traveling, I am sure to be bringing several liters of the prescription-strength Lubridex™ brand lubricant! Each milliliter of this precious liquid is having a slipperiness of over 10,000 on the Grease Scale. And because it is a medicine only available through your doctor or pharmacist, those Manly airport security goons aren't likely to be taking it away from you. (If they are asking why you are needing it—just grin and offer to show them!) Thanks to Lubridex™, this mink is once again able to Practice his Arts on the many flight attendants who have been Missing his Minkish Ministrations.
The Ravishing Rails
Of course, the airplane, it is not the only way to be traveling. In the Europe, the train has long been the favorite mode of transportation. And in America too, there has been growing interest in it. The train offers several things that the airplane cannot. Crossing the countryside by rail is a more leisurely method of travel, giving you time to be Getting to Know more of your fellow travelers. Indeed, you can be Pleasuring each one for five minutes or more, before the constraints of time are requiring you to be moving on! Also, the trains are offering the sleeper cars. With six or eight total strangers in each darkend room, these are offering the Orgitastic way to be spending the night!
The Erotic Automobile
Next we are coming to America's favorite method of transport: the car. Alas, the car is offering very few opportunities for the Love. After all, you will be stuck in the same vehicle with the same four or five Every fifty kilometers or so, you will be finding the offramp into this Mecca of Unabashed Hedonism. people for the hours on end. If you are like this humble mink, you will soon be tiring of these same Lovers after only ten minutes. To make the matters worse, I have been discovering the hard way that the highway patrol is frowning on many Acts of Passion when conducted behind the wheel. Fortunately, the road trip is having one bright spot that is making up for its other deficiencies: the Rest Stop. Every fifty kilometers or so, you will be finding the offramp into this Mecca of Unabashed Hedonism. Next time you are there, be trying this: First, pick the stall in the toilet of the appropriate gender. Set the mood in there with the candles, the open bottle of wine, and the bearskin rug. Leave the Romantic Note of Love on the toilet paper dispenser. Then, when someone is finally sitting down in there, you can be launching yourself at them! It will be a Love like no other.
Thumbs of Desire
For those who have no car, there is another way to be Experiencing the Passion of the Road: the hitchhiking. All you are needing is the backpack, the thumb, and the cardboard sign reading “Free Love.” You'll get to find the new Paramour every few kilometers, and yet still get to experience the Forbidden Glories of the Rest Stops! Unfortunately, you are running the risk of getting caught in the sudden downpour and appearing to all the world like the drowned rat. But with a little luck, you will be quickly running into the hydrorodentophile. I have, many times!
Pedaling to Passion
There is one more option for those of you without the car or the money for tickets: the bicycle. Why be taking the bike when other options are so much faster? It is for the other bicyclists. Remember: serious bikers are a bunch of hippies who will be Sleeping with anyone. All you are needing to be doing is making the comment about how the SUVs are bad, the global warming is wrong, and the endangered species are needing to be actualized. Once you are doing that, anyone who is In The Mood will be ready to be Giving themselves to you. And after the long day of pumping the machine between the legs, everyone will be In The Mood!So you are seeing, there are the Opportunities of Amour no matter what method of transport you are choosing. Keep the eyes open and the legs opener, and the Love will be Finding you.♥
