The Pledge of Passion
This month, I Ramón the Mink of Love would like to talk about a subject that I am finding a little distasteful. I had been hearing of several movements among the religious right community encouraging the abstinence among the young adults. At first I could not be believing this. Perhaps there are some people out there who are perverse enough to be imprisoning their own Pleasures and Lusts, keeping them from ever showing. But to be forcing this on others? Especially to be forcing this on the young men and women of today, the very people whose hearts are most Aflame with the Youthful Passions that drive them? How could this be?But unfortunately the rumors turned out to be true. And not only that, but these deviant and depraved movements are only growing in popularity. Apparently in some places it is encouraged for hundreds at the same time to be promising to be suppressing their Affections until marriage. And then, after that, to be shackled by this institution, forced to Love only one person of the opposite gender for the entire life! How can you ever be learning who you are, learning to express yourself, if you are confined to only the one Lover? It is like they are killing these people before they have ever truly Come to Life!
And to make the matters even worse, these sites are filled with the photographs of the happy, smiling young men and women. They are trying to imply that swearing off of the Passion makes the people joyful! How could this be? If I, Ramón the Mink of Love, were to remain celibate for even an hour I would be tense and jumpy, gritting the teeth with the cold sweats. And the religious culture warriors, they are not the gleeful, grinning, and gay people I am seeing here. No, I am convinced that they must be lying. These happy people, they are not really abstinent. They have probably just been Loving and Cavorting mere minutes before these photo shoots!
Can you imagine a world in which these people are succeeding in their dastardly ways? It is simply too horrible to be imagined. The amount of Love in the world would be seriously curtailed! People would go out to dinner and finish with only the quick peck on the cheek, rather than the ragged Lovemaking that more properly ends such dates! The married housewives would no longer be available for the afternoon of Sweaty Paroxysm! You could know someone for weeks or even months without even once Sharing your Body with them! I, Ramón the Mink of Love, would not want to live in such a world. The Love, it is a release from the stresses of our tumultuous world. Without it, the pressure and frustration would mount until the riots and the war broke out in our most blissfully innocent suburbs. No one would be safe!
And so now I can hear you asking me: what can we do about this? How can we be fighting this dry, apocalyptic future these people are trying to force upon us? The answer, it is notoriously simple. We must be starting our own movement, our own pledge. And I, Ramón the Mink of Love, have been doing just that! Click here to be swearing to my new Pledge of Love! It is the only pledge on the Internet that has been tailored specifically to the Loving, Passionate, Tempestuously Beautiful life that you are leading! And even better, once you have entered your name, you will be able to download the certificate to be printing and framing! That way you can be Sharing your Philosophy with any who are coming into your living room or office!
But that is not the end. We must always be vigilant, Giving and Receiving the Love at every opportunity. Not only that, but we must be reaching out to these poor, misguided souls on the other side of this cultural rift we are facing. So go, find a preacher and Extended your Love to him today! Seek out the ranting right wing matron, and Pump her full of your Passion! And whenever you are finding the young man or woman who has been signing one of these pledges of abstinence, show to him or her your own Pledge and the Sybaritic Glories of Lust! It is only through Love that we will Prevail!♥
