I am speaking, of course, of the Easter Bunny. Every Easter I Ramón the Mink of Love am donning my costume of this noble rabbit and hopping through the bushes and the bedrooms near to where I am living, making the Little Deposits of my own. Perhaps you would like to be knowing how I am doing this? Of course you would! If I can be Bringing more Passion into your life, how can it be being a bad thing?
The first step, it is to be creating the costume of the Easter Bunny. Of course, you should be wearing the long bunny ears and the fluffy bunny tail. But many people, they are ruining this image by the wearing of the too much clothing. Is the Easter Bunny wearing any clothes? No, of course he is not. You must be forgetting the full body fur suit that you are seeing many wearing, for it is unsexy and unpassionate. Rather you should simply don the speedo or the lingerie, or if you are the truly daring Lover, nothing at all.
The basket of the Easter goodies is also quite important. You will be needing to remember to be bringing many things with you. The chocolate is always good, for it is serving many purposes. Not only can it be used in the Seduction of the trusting housewife, but it can also be used to be keeping the kids occupied while you are Making Your Move on the parents. Another idea is to be bringing plenty of the plastic Easter eggs, each with the different Toy Surprise inside. I will be saying more on this later.
Now, the most important thing is to be mastering the right attitude. The Easter Bunny, he is not the scared and timid little rabbit running from hiding place to hiding place. If you are acting like this, the families on Easter morning will be knowing that something is wrong, and they will be calling the police very quickly. You must be having the poise and confidence which is befitting a Holiday Icon such as yourself. Jump over the fence into a neighbor's yard as the sun is rising, being sure not to get any splinters into the exposed body parts. Hunch over with your hands in front and twitch the nose constantly. Then, hop over to the nearest plant and hide the chocolate egg there.
Slowly make your way toward the house, hiding the eggs every so often, and then sneak inside. Keep hopping, and keep twitching the nose. You are looking for the parents' bedroom. Remember, most people of the suburban middle class are the repressed and timid individuals. Even though they may not know it, they will be Welcoming your Loving intrusion. Hop about their bedroom, searching for good hiding places such as the nightstand and the underwear drawer. These are places where you can be hiding your Special eggs.
In some of these eggs you will have been hiding the flavored prophylactics. In others perhaps you have stashed the leather collars or the manacles. No matter, they are all toys that will help to be spreading the Ways of Love. My favorite is the Vibrating Eggs of Love that I have specially made for this occasion. I turn these on and then drop them in a corner or underneath the bed, and then scurry out quickly.
Of course, when you are doing this at house after house, eventually you are going to be caught. This is exactly what you should be hoping for, for how else are you going to Share Your Easter Delights? Let us say that you have been found by the sleepy housewife, who is unsure what to do. You must woo her with the chocolate and the poetry. Give to her one of your special eggs, and while she is opening it you should be twitching the nose and appearing cute. Inside will be a poem written especially for this moment. Perhaps it will say:
Such beautiful words are always making the women Open Themselves to your Amorous Thrustings. But on occasion I have been finding the husband before me. He Cocks his Manly Shotgun, and demands to know what I am doing there. My response, it is always something like, “Hello! I am Ramón the Easter Bunny of Love! I have hidden the Easter egg somewhere on my person! Would you like to be finding it?” I find that this is usually melting the Tension immediately. Fifteen minutes later he and I are both Sated, and I am hopping on to the next house for more Passion.
So remember to be Keeping Busy this Easter morn! With a little creativity and a lot of Love, you can be making anyone's Easter truly Delicious!♥