On the Woman
This month’s article, it is all about the Woman. The Woman, she is the pinnacle of perfection that so many of us are seeking every day. She is the beauty and she is the light, and she is that which is making the Life be worth Living. And yet there are many out there who are not understanding the Woman, who are not comprehending her many moods and desires. And so I, Ramón the Mink of Love, have written this for you. Next month I shall be discussing the Man.
The Woman wants above all to be queen, to be worshipped and desired by all. The fastest way to be attaining the Love of a woman is to be convincing her that you live, breathe, eat, and drink only her; that without her the Life would be useless. The Woman is always right. You cannot fight with her, you cannot beat her through sheer logic. If you are opposing her, you shall never be given the Love you seek.
It is important to be remembering that the Modern Woman has come of age in a backstabbing, duplicitous environment. Young girls, they are always criticizing the modes of dress of the others, as well as the hair, the face, the makeup, the choice of friends, and everything else. By the time she is a grown woman many believe themselves to be masters of manipulation. With such a woman, you must learn to appear manipulated while really it is you who are pulling the strings. Others simply need to be told at all times that they are beautiful, for they have been convinced that they are not over the years.
The Woman likes decadence and the pleasures of the flesh. There are many material goods that might be igniting her Undying Flame. The sweet bitterness of chocolate is ecstasy to her tongue. The silk sheets on her bare flesh make her squirm and squeal like the young kitten. The warm brie cheese is unmitigated oozing liquid joy. Use these in your seduction of the Fairer Sex. More than once, crafty mink that I am, I have laid a woman down on a silk sheet covered in chocolate and brie cheese. Usually their rapture is so intense that they give their Love to you that instant in a cheesy, chocolaty Gumbo of Passion.
There exists the myth today that the Woman wants above all the kind, sensitive man. This is not true for alas, there are many of this kind of men who continue to sleep alone. The Woman wants the strong man to whom she can submit. She wants the kind of man who can bodily pick her up without breaking a sweat, and who can hold her above his head with one hand while he Makes Love to her. She wants a man who can appear sensitive and comforting to her needs, but only because her womanly charms have brought that out. Kindness is not mattering so much as romanticism. The Woman wants a man who will shower her with scarlet roses because it’s her birthday, because the moon is full, or simply because it’s Tuesday. She wants a man who will dance with her, who knows the Tango and the Merengue and who can be spinning her around with savage abandon. Also, I have found that the foreign accent is a help. It makes you appear different and mysterious. If you have no such accent, be making one up. Speak like the Frenchmen or the Africans in the movies. Learn to speak with the sexy click of the tongue and the trill of the R. When the Woman is asking you where you are from, make up the name of some small, rustic village. She will never know until after she has been sharing her Celestial Concupiscence with you.
Above all, be remembering that each woman is unique and special. It is strange, but there is nothing that will be making a woman cross her legs faster than to know that you have used these techniques on many other women. Nevertheless, within all women beats the heart of an amorous Passion-Wench who will scream with abandon as she grinds herself into your body. Once you have awakened this beast inside, I promise you that you shall never be forgetting it. ♥
