Finding the Matrimonial Bliss
Now that June is here, it is officially the start of the wedding season! Now, I, Ramón the Mink of Love, am knowing what all of you are thinking. The wedding, it is so unminkly! How can any person be pledging his or her Passion to just one another for the rest of all Eternity? After even just the single hour with the lone Lover, I am beginning to feel the nervousness and the confinement. But I was thinking that perhaps it was time that this humble mink was making his peace with the nuptials...all the better to be Making his Piece. After all, what is the wedding but another big party? And we are all knowing that where there is the Celebration, there is the Love! Let me show you how to be finding it, even at the most repressed and uptight wedding.Of course, the first place to be Seeking the Sexy Satisfaction at the wedding is at the bachelor or bachelorette party. Here you are having all of the elements Necessary for the Love: the alcohol, the Lithe, Hard bodies, and the Will to be Wild! Unfortunately, many people are feeling the need to be hiring a stripper, or to be going out to the Gentleman's (or Lady's) Club. And unfortunately, these places are often having the rules against the Touching and the Squeezing. Why? Do not these establishments exist to Celebrate the Dance of Desire? So I, Ramón the Mink of Love, am having the small suggestion for you best men and “maids” of honor. Hold the party in the brothel, so that all may be Partaking in the Forbidden Delights! I guarantee you, the bride and groom will Love it!
Many of you though will not be having the Opportunity to be planning these parties. No matter—there will be Passion Aplenty waiting at the wedding. You will need to start out though by Scoping everyone out. Who there is most Desirous? Who is most Needing the Naughty Needle? Here, I am having the couple of ideas for you.
The first place you should always be looking is the wedding party. The bridesmaids and groomsmen are almost always willing to be having the quick Tussle. Many of them are even choosing to play this part in the ceremony for precisely this reason. In fact, the maxim “Always a bridesmaid, never a bride,” is describing exactly this situation. These people are realizing that there is much more fun to be had at the sides of the ceremony, rather than in the center.
However, if the wedding party is all Otherwise Occupied, you could perhaps be trying to Have Your Way with the parents of the couple. Think about it—the wedding of the child is perhaps one of the saddest days for these people, and particularly so for the mother of the bride. Once she was Young and Flexible, but now the ravages of time have been catching up with her. You and I, Ramón the Mink of Love, may be knowing that she is as Delicious as ever she was, but often she is needing a little Convincing. Ask her to dance, tell her that she is Charming and Witty and Alluring. With the little luck, she just might end up beneath the dessert table with you while her husband is dancing with their daughter.
Be sure to look at the rest of the families of the couple too. Somewhere in there will be the old and bitter uncle, who is off in the corner with the bottle of wine. He is knowing better than most what a sham the marriage is, and how it is merely a fantasy to which no one can be living up. Go to him, pour him some more alcohol and listen to his woes, until he is Drunkenly Pawing at you. If you are quick, you may be able to move on to the other uncles and aunts as well.
Of course, it hardly needs saying that the priest or officiant may be in need of the Loving too. Holy men are well known to be some of the most repressed people out there. Why is this? Is it because they truly believe themselves to be fireproof from the Burning Passion? Or is it because they are believing that they can control their own beast by leashing all of those around them? Unless he is released from his cage, he may continue to control others for the rest of his life. You should approach this Lover cautiously, for you are never knowing what Wild Savage may be hiding inside him. Remember to be bringing the whip and the chair. And in the case of the secular wedding, be sure you are not forgetting about the Justice of the Peace, for he may be just as repressed. (But be sure to call him “Your Honor.” They like that.)
Finally, remember the caterers. These people have been working hard all day to serve you, and may well be ready to Serve you. Spend some time getting to know them. Of course, you may have to be subtle. Ask them if any are knowing where you can get the glass of wine with Full Release, and be sure to give the Lusty Wink as you are saying this. Perhaps one or two of them will be ready for the Five Minute Break of Passion, and will go with you into the kitchen. A word of advice though—you may wish to be doing the head caterer first. That way, he or she will not be too angry at the others for slacking on their work.
Remember, with a little Searching, even the most dry and dull wedding can turn into the Day of Lustful Passion. After all, it should not be just the bride and groom who are celebrating. And who knows...maybe even they would be willing to invite you back into the Honeymoon Suite! ♥
