Watching the Wad
The Holiday Season, it has arrived. Everyone is rushing around, trying to do all the shopping and the preparation for this season of giving. It seems that every day, people are moving faster and faster, and yet Appreciating the Life less and less. This spirit of consumerism, it is all-encompassing. It is making a humble mink such as myself sad, that no one is taking the time to be slowing down and Enjoying their neighbors. And the money, it is tighter than ever! What are Lovers such as ourselves to be doing? Here then I, Ramón the Mink of Love am presenting to you some tips to be saving the money this Holiday Season.The first trick, it is to learn how to be drinking for free. Let us admit it: all of us are liking the alcohol. It is Lubricating the Social Functions, especially the Willingness to be Loving. How many of us would still be the virgins if it were not for the Frequent Drunkenness. And yet, the alcohol, it is expensive. You could be cutting the budget in half if it weren't for the Fruity, Ethanoly Goodness of the alcoholic beverages. Fortunately, there are always the people hanging out in the bars who will be most Willing to be buying for you the drinks. All you will have to be doing is Promising to them the Love. What matter is it that you may be finding them creepy or otherwise undesirable? It is only the five minutes of your time, and afterwards you will be free to be Loving again, the people who are more to your Desiring.
But of course, not all of the money saving tips are to be found in the bar. For example, how much are you paying for the birth control? Many people, they are making the mistake of buying the prophylactics one at a time, as they are needed. But why, as you can be buying them in the mass quantities for so much cheaper? This humble mink is having the crate shipped to his flat every couple of weeks. The Savings, they are Enormous. But what if you are preferring the hormonal birth control? Fortunately, there are many fine pharmacies in the Latin America and the East Asia who will be more than happy to be Filling your prescriptions. Just look for them on the Interweb, and you can start to be saving the money!
What about the dates? After all, going out on the frequent dates can be both time consuming and expensive. Fortunately, you will be finding that many of the traditions of the courtship are both extraneous and unnecessary. Why be inviting a young lady to the coffee, when you can simply be inviting her to your place for the Night of Passion. Why take the handsome man to the film, when you can just Lay him down and Receive his Seminal Offering? But for those diehards who are insisting on keeping the old ways, there are still the inexpensive options. Why not be taking the date to the library, for the afternoon of the Silent Love in the reference aisle? Or perhaps to the community theater, for the Artistic Love in front of the performers? Or to the museum, where you can be Sharing the Loins as part of the Performance Art, in front of the many patrons? Or to the beach, for the Sandy Love, with all of the families who are there? Truly, there is no end to the opportunities!
What about the expenses of the home? We all know that everyone is paying too much for the telephone, the electricity, and the water and sewage. What is to be done about this? The first thing you can be doing is to be turning down the thermostat. Lovemaking, it is generating much heat. During the summer, two or three will be being sufficient. But during the winter months, you should be inviting the hundred or so closest friends over for the orgy. The more people who are Sharing of Themselves, the Warmer it will be! And if you are mechanically inclined, you can be hooking up the alternator to the bed. That way, every Vibration, every Thrust, and every Earth-Shaking Climax is being converted directly into the electricity! With the added microphone, the Screams of Passion will be saving the money too!
There are ways too to be saving on the water bill. Remember, every drop of water, it is precious. If we could save every bit of the Love Fluid made in a year, we could be watering the Sahara Desert! Think about how many lives, they could be saved! So be sure that you are swallowing every bit that your Passion Partners are Producing. Of course, there are easier ways to be saving the water than this. For example, I, rtmol, am often wearing those black rubber water-saving suits that they wore in the movie Dune. That way, every drop of liquid that I am producing, it is recycled for me to be drinking later. Plus, I am Loving the way it is Squeaking as I am shuffling through the bushes in pursuit of my next Love!
What about those debts which you already have been amassing? Is there any way to be lightening the load when you are already owing the ton of money? For this, you must be putting the Charms to work. It is amazing how flexible is the payment schedule to the banker, loan officer, or credit card company, with only a few of the quick Lovemaking sessions. Yes, some people may be thinking that these people are dull and lifeless. But is not everyone, even the old and wrinkled financier, Deservining all the people for whom you care. But you will be able to be Expressing the Generosity and the Love of Others as few are able to do. And in the End, isn't that what the Holidays are truly about?♥
