Handcrafted Holiday Hunger
With the gift giving season almost here, many of you are feeling stuck. What can you be getting for all of the friends and family? Can you be finding the item that is suitable, that they will be liking, and that is not too expensive? (After all, you are needing to save the money for that trip to the Bahamas, with all the Lithe, Nubile young bodies.) And can you be doing it all without yet another trip to the dreaded mall? It is enough to be driving a young mink such as myself crazy, so that I am needing to be Sating my Lusts many times over until I am feeling the calmness and the rationalness once again.But have you ever been considering making your own gifts? After all, the handmade gift is having that touch of Personalness that is showing that you Care. And the Caring, it is the first step toward the Sharing—of the Sweet, Delicious Love! But now I, Ramón the Mink of Love, am knowing what you are thinking. You are saying that you are not Artistically Inclined, that you cannot be producing a work that anyone would like to be keeping. I tell you, that is mattering not. Anybody can be the Artist!
The first question, it is to decide what to be making. It must be something useful, that is showing that you have been Thinking about the recipient, and that you would like them to be the Recipient of So Much More. For example, you should probably not be making the clay ashtray. Who is actually still smoking these days? However, everybody is having the creams and the gels and the lubricants that are needing storing, so why not be making the small flash or vial? These are simple to be constructing, and they are showing the Forethought and the Kindness. Or perhaps you could be fashioning the small music box, for the jewelry or the prophylactics. However, you should be sure to be selecting the right tune. Personally, this mink would be recommending the theme song from any Seventies Blaxploitation movie, set at the high volume.
Some people are liking to be making the tree ornaments, which can be displayed at this time of the year. You can be doing these from wood, paper, clay, or any other material which you are knowing how to shape. Of course, most store-bought ornaments are dull and prosaic—who is needing another angel or nutcracker? But if the angel is nude and supine, or the nutcracker is so Well-Endowed as to be putting the Fear of God into any mouse king, then you will be having the unique gift. And if you wish to make the ornament to be even more eye-catching, try adding lots of the bright, blinky lights to it. It will be changing the entire tree from the mild to the Wild!
If you have always been good at the chemistry or the cooking, perhaps you could be trying to be mastering the art of the Brewing. There is nothing that can quite be comparing to the good handcrafted ale or lager. Plus, even the non-drinkers might be willing to sample the beverage when they are knowing that you have been making it yourself. The trick, it is to be adding as much alcohol as is possible without the receiver being any the wiser. Instead of adding just the water to the mixture as the recipe is calling, try adding the water and the grain alcohol in the equal amounts. (You can also be adding more sugar to be covering up the taste, if you are desiring.) After the drink has been fermenting, be sure to be distilling it to be further enhancing its Intoxicating Properties. I, Ramón the Mink of Love, have been most Successful in making the 100 proof ale, that has been Allowing me into some beds into which I may not otherwise have gotten.
Another relatively simple craft to be trying is the embroidery, or the art of weaving the pictures and the designs into the piece of cloth. You can be buying the patterns at any craft shop. Unfortunately, they are almost always on the dull and dreary side, and are needing to be Livened Up a little. After all, most of us were outgrowing the puppies and flowers stage when we were ten. Why are the shopkeepers still thinking that these are appropriate gifts? No matter—the patterns, they are easy to be Modifying. Where you are seeing the Cavorting Nymphs, be removing the clothing. Where there are flowers, you can be Taking the Hint from Georgia O'Keefe. Soon you will be having the work of art worthy of any Fine Connoisseur.
These ideas can also be used for other crafts, such as the knitting or the quilting. Of course, for these you cannot easily be making as well-defined an image as you can with the embroidery. I, Ramón the Mink of Love, recommend that you be making your own “abstract” pattern with the Extreme Closeup of either then man's or the woman's Most Intimate Parts. (If this gift is for the stern, unloving type, you can be further disguising the image by making it in the blue or the red or some other unusual color. Any chance to be Sneaking the Loving Images into someone's life, it is the Good Thing...and it just may be subliminally triggering the Lustful Desires in his or her Breast!) This mink is having the gorgeous turtleneck sweater made for me by a young lady of her Most Delicate Flower. Wearing it to the office parties and to the church luncheons is a Joy unlike any other!
And speaking of the clothing—if you are able to sew, the handmade clothing is always making the good gift. Too many times, I am finding the store-bought fashions to be too timid and cowardly. But if you are making the clothes yourself, there is no end to the Daring Love with which you can be Infusing them. The crotchless pants, the shirt with the neckline down to the navel, and the gauzy, pink diaphanous kimono—all these would be fine additions to anyone's wardrobe!
Regardless of what you are making, there are certain Personal Touches that you can be adding to your handiwork. Remember the importance of color—most items are looking better when they are the hot pink or the deep red, or some combination of the two. The small hearts and the glitter all over the item will be giving it that Loving Feel. If the piece is allowing it, you should be adding many knobs and protrusions of the different shapes and sizes. And there is nothing on this earth that is not Improved by the addition of the Liquid Reservoir and the Vibrating Motor. Let the imagination be Running Wild!
Best of all, your gift will be containing the Little Piece of You in it. Whether you are making the pink musk-scented vibrating candle, the shiny spinning wooden bed-toy, or the self-lubricating quilt, you will be showing how much you are Caring. And then perhaps the recipient will be further Receiving...that Little Piece of You.♥
