Riding the Romantic Road
Have you ever been getting into the automobile and just driving all the day long? Finding new Loves and new Romances far away from your home? There is no Freedom quite like just getting on the road and going! And now, while the summer, it is waning, it is your last opportunity for such a trip before the autumn is upon us. And fortunately for you, I, Ramón the Mink of Love, am here to be showing you how to be taking the most Passionate road trip imaginable!Before taking the road trip, the first step is to be making sure that the automobile is functioning smoothly, that the engine is pistoning in and out with the proper motions. You should be taking the car to the local automobile shop. I know, this is being exciting; I, Ramón the Mink of Love, am Relishing every trip to the shop. Remember, no one is knowing the Lubricants better than the mechanics! Is your Lovemaking Fast and Pounding, or Slow and Gentle? At what Frequency are you Hitting the Stride? Are you needing the 10W-40, the 5W-30, or some plain old WD-40? The mechanic, he will be knowing the answer to this question. After you have finished the Hot, Sweaty Diesel Love with him, try asking him which oil is being right for you. You will not be sorry.
What about the fuel? In this day, the petrol, it is more expensive than ever! Fortunately I, Ramón the Mink of Love, have been finding that there are many people who are most willing to be buying me my gasoline in exchange for the Favors of Love. If you are just waiting at the service station with the cardboard sign saying “Will Love for Gas,” you will be being on the road in no time!
And what if the police officer is stopping you, for the speeding? Fortunately, every highway patrol officer has the same human Needs and Wants deep inside his or her Breast. Practice the surprised voice of innocence. “Why no officer, I didn't think I was speeding. Why don't you be coming in here and Showing me better how to use this Long, Hard stick shift?” Run the tongue around the lips while you are saying this, especially if you are being the same sex as the officer. With a little work, you can be Working your way out of any citation!
Another concern is if you are traveling with the small children. The older ones, they will know how to be Taking Care of themselves. But the younger ones are not understanding the road trip so well, and will become easily bored. This humble mink has found the best success in keeping them occupied by putting them behind the wheel. After all, today's children are being the aces at the video games, so it is no surprise that they are the excellent drivers too! And with the kids up front, the adults can be taking the rear seat, for the more Adult Activities.
What kind of traveler are you being? Some people on road trips, they are preferring the Hard, Quick journey, putting as many of the kilometers behind them as they can. If this is you, you must be sure to be taking the frequent breaks at the rest stops, in order to be Emptying the Gonads. But how can you be finding the Love in the public toilet? It is true that there are many of the secret code phrases and the body signals that will let others know that you are Desiring the Quick Pounding. For example, one code phrase is something like, “Your eyes, they are like the deep pools of the ocean. Make Love to me now!” If they are responding “Yes,” that is meaning that they are wanting to be Sharing the Stall with you. Or perhaps you could just be making the hand-lettered sign: “Your Desires await Within,” or “Knock twice for the Man Love.” Be sure to be using the bright neon markers, and to be drawing lots of the little hearts and stars on it. Hang it on the stall door and wait—with the Luck, someone will be coming in who is Understanding your Message.
Or perhaps you are the slow journeyer, taking the time to be Poking into every small nook and cranny on your path. No matter, for this can be the enjoyable vacation too. You will be having the time to be visiting all of the small towns on your path, and to be Spreading the Way of the Mink. Remember, people from the small towns will likely be more conservative than the people with whom you are usually Sharing the Loins. The may be the extended time period while you are convincing them to be Losing the Pants—perhaps as long as fifteen minutes! It will be helping if you can be mastering several rural Phrases of Seduction, spoken in the slow country drawl. For example, I, Ramón the Mink of Love, am frequently exclaiming, “Boy, that shure is a purdy corn field! Could you be showing me them thar tall, hard stalks?” Once they are at ease, they will be ripping off their shirts in no time.
While you are on the road, you will also be having the opportunity to be Making Love in many of the unique locations. This mink is suggesting that you are making the map ahead of time, so that you can be deciding ahead of time where you are wishing to be Sharing your Passions. After all, there is nothing quite like the Presidential Love, hanging from the noses of Mt. Rushmore. Or the Hydrodynamic Love, lying in the old Roman aqueduct. Or even the Forbidden Love, atop the Gate of Divine Might in the Forbidden City of Beijing!
So get in that car and move! New Passions are awaiting you just beyond the horizon. All you have to remember is to Pack your Passion and Load Up your Lust, and you're ready to go!♥
