The Passionate Passover
If you will be recalling, last April, your humble mink wrote about the Catholic Easter service which he was attending. So this year I thought I would be writing a bit about another springtime holiday, that few people are knowing much about. I am speaking of course of the Jewish Passover, and its Deeper and more Lustful meanings.Of course, many of you are already knowing the story of the Passover, and how the Hebrews were enslaved by their cruel Egyptian taskmasters. The Hebrews were forced to sit in the windowless rooms and to do the Egyptians' financial records all the day long, while the Egyptians were Cavorting and Playing by the banks of the Nile, Raising their Obelisks as Symbols of their Lust. The Hebrews cried out at this unfairness, and in response God was sending Moses to be freeing them.
Now Moses was the Hebrew by birth, but his mother had been hiding him near the Nile to be saving him from Pharaoh's soldiers. Fortunately he was found by Pharaoh's daughter, who was Fooling Around near the reeds with her handmaidens. She adopted him and raised him in the Lusty Ways of an Egyptian. When he finally found out who he truly was, he was deciding to help free his fellow Hebrews from Pharaoh so they would know the same Passions and Desires as he did. Now Pharaoh was a Hard and Virile man, but Moses was showing that his Manly Serpent was even Harder and more Virile than Pharaoh's. When it was Consuming the lesser snake in front of the entire royal court, Pharaoh was shamed enough that he was letting all the Hebrews go. They were quickly moving out, and went on to Fervently found the nation of Israel.
Passover is thus being the feast of the giving of thanks. This is no more evident than in the song Dayenu. After each verse which is naming something that God has been doing for the Jewish people, they are saying “Dayenu,” which is meaning “It would have been enough.” For example:
If God had been bringing us out of Egypt, but not splitting the Red Sea for us, Dayenu!
If He had been splitting the Red Sea for us, but not providing for our Needs in the wilderness for forty years, Dayenu!
If He had been providing for our Needs in the wilderness for forty years, but not Teaching us the Ways of Love, Dayenu!
If He had been teaching us the Ways of Love, but not making us the Great Lovers, Dayenu!
If He had been making us the Great Lovers, but not giving us scores of the Hot Chicks, Dayenu!
There are also many of the sacred foods that are eaten with the Passover meal. Each is having the separate mystical meaning. For example, the Long, Hard shank bone is representing the Masculine Passion that was driving Moses. Likewise the egg symbolizes the Feminine Lust, as personified in Moses' sister Miriam. The matzah bread is signifying the hard, crusty, dry life without the Passion that the Hebrews were living under the Egyptians. By contrast the spicy horseradish represents the Hot, Steamy Life that the Jews are living now. And of course the raw oysters are representing the Fecundity and the Throbbing Passion by which the Jews have lived since the long ago times.
But everyone is knowing that the real purpose of the Passover is to be getting Completely Wasted. Everybody, be they Randy Man, Wanton Woman, or small child, is expected to be finishing the four cups of wine. Of course, these are the traditional Jewish cups, which are being the cubit in height and the span in diameter. After the drinking comes the memory games and the drinking songs. Anyone who can be answering all thirteen questions of the “Echad Mi Yodea” from the memory, or reciting all of the “Chad Gadya” in the one breath is immediately given the fresh cup. After all, they are obviously too sober.
It is at this point that the pairing off is beginning. Of course, this cannot be done lightly. Often it is the job of some old Bubbe, or learned Yenta to be assigning the couples. Of course, with all of the petty inhibitions drowned in the Sweet Fruit of the Vine, often they are saving the Virile Young Studs for themselves. How is the Jewish Love working? Like everything else, there is being the Right Way, and the wrong way. The Right Way is involving saying the blessings for the every step of the Passion. For example, when you are going for your partner's Beautiful Bounteous Bosom, one is reciting the following:
Ba•rukh a•tah A•do•nai, e•lo•hei•nu Me•lekh Ha•o•lam, ha•mo•tzi Sha•da•yim min Ha•i•shah.
Praised be thou, Adonai our God, Lord of the Universe, who is making the Breasts grow from the Woman.
When you are finding the Beloved waiting for you Lustfully in the bedroom, you should be replying:
Ba•rukh a•tah A•do•nai, e•lo•hei•nu Me•lekh Ha•o•lam, ro•ka Ha•A•hu•vah al ha•me•tah.
Praised be thou, Adonai our God, Lord of the Universe, who is spreading the Lover upon the bed.
And when you are lying there in the Sweet Embrace of the Arms of the True Love, Anesthetized in the Ambrosial Afterglow, you are saying:
Ba•rukh a•tah A•do•nai, e•lo•hei•nu Me•lekh Ha•o•lam, she•a•sa•ni A•huv Ga•dol.
Praised be thou, Adonai our God, Lord of the Universe, who has made me the Great Lover.
It is obvious to me, Ramón the Mink of Love, that the Passover is Truly the holiday for those, like ourselves, with the more Desirous Dispositions. Your humble mink is certainly planning to be exploring the Judaism more, as well as Exploring the Jews! I cannot be thinking of any better way to close, then with this closing line from the Lover's Kaddish:
Next year in Jerusalem!♥O•seh A•ha•vah bim•ro•mav, hu ya•a•seh A•ha•vah a•lei•nu v'al kol Yis•ra•el. V'im•ru A•men.
He who makes Love in His heights, may He make Love upon us and upon all Israel. And let us say, Amen.
