The Father, the Son, and the Holy Mink
This month I, Ramón the Mink of Love, was feeling a little down, as if there was something missing from my life. I wondered what it could be—why I was feeling so unfulfilled. After all, I had been doing my regular share of the Filling and of the Being Filled, so there was absolutely no reason that I should be feeling this emptiness inside of me. And yet, there it was.So, always up for the New Experience, I decided to be taking a radical step. Now, my most devoted readers are already knowing that the mainstream religions and your humble mink are not often seeing the eye to the eye. Always they are claiming to be about Love, and yet when I am attending their services, I am finding the dry and sterile environment in which the Passion is quashed and the Fiery Lusts are quenched under the rigid dogma. However, maybe this was because I had only been visiting the very limited range of churches. I had heard that the local Catholic church was often having a big mass for the Easter, to which they are ascribing some importance. Perhaps within their halls I would be finding a different attitude than that of the Protestants.
The ceremony started ordinarily enough. People in robes were looking solemn and singing hymns, and the priest started saying something. I must confess though that I do not remember exactly what he said, for I was Enjoying the Fruits of a lovely young woman seated next to me in the pew. But then the priest had my Full Attention, for he had begun to show his Kinky side. He walked through the congregation holding the Shaft with the Orb at its end, shaking it at everyone in the crowd. And just in case the Phallic Imagery was not obvious enough, he was Dipping it repeatedly into the basin of water, so that everyone there was Sprayed by his Holy Rod.
But this priest, he was the Tease of the highest magnitude. Soon after this he returned to the ritualistic call and response with the congregants there. I tell you honestly, your intrepid mink was close to Bursting at this point. Fortunately for me, there were two Beautiful men there upon whom I could be Visiting my Lusts. Even now, I Squirm with the memory.
The priest though, he had the Will of Iron. He just read calmly from his books, as if the Passion did not Burn Insatiably in his Breast. Fortunately I was remembering at this point that I could be practicing the Latin. I had been hearing that the Mass used to be almost entirely in this Romantic Tongue, and that many of the congregants are still remembering it. “Quo signo natus es” translates to “Hey baby, what's your sign?” (Of course, you must be remembering to be Conjugating this correctly. For a woman, you must be saying “nata es,” and for the large group, “nati estis.”) Many of the faithful Catholics were Revealing their Mysteries to me when I was saying this phrase. Another good phrase is “Frequentasne hunc locum?” which means “Do you come here often?” But my personal favorite is the direct “Tuae soleae bellae! Fornicemur!” or “Nice shoes! Let us Make Love!”
Fortunately at this point the priest was finally breaking down. He recited the creed of the faith, and then proceeded to elaborate upon its Mysteries. “Christ has Died, Christ has Risen, Christ will Come Again!” At once, I knew that this was a religion after my own Passionate Heart. Christ was not truly dead—otherwise He could not be accomplishing these other things afterward. Thus it must be that He had only suffered the Little Death, that Climax after which we all are Striving. But He was not done there—without the slightest pause he had Risen again. At this I myself, despite my previous Activities, could feel myself Rising too in the Celebration of His Wondrous Endurance! And most Sweet of all, He will Come Again! In this way the Great Circle of Passion is completed!
It was at about this time that the priest broke out the alcohol (as well as some snack crackers that had probably been sitting around forever), and the entire congregation was rising to Partake in the Loosening of the Inhibitions. When it came to be my turn I gleefully accepted the cup, and downed it in a single gulp! Returning it, I gave him my best Lascivious Wink, and returned to my seat. By the look he gave me, he clearly Felt the Love between us just as surely as I had.
However he completed the ceremony, even though I could see his knees shake and hear his voice waver. With the final “Peace by with you,” I realized that indeed, the relaxed calm had spread over my body, much like the Afterglow. I left the church feeling Warm and Happy, and Satiated and Satisfied—at least for the next half hour.♥
